Inspiration
Thoughts and Words
Thoughts and words are two powerful tools that we have been given to help us on our journey of self discovery. If used positively we create a world that is harmonious and good. If used negatively we find our world is forever miserable and distasteful, one of discord and discontent, a world that we quickly want to leave.
We must make a constructive effort to ensure that our thoughts are in harmony with all that is good and positive, wholesome and true. If our thoughts are low, or negative, then we are producing an environment of conflict in our mind, our body and our outward appearance. This leads to chaos and confusion, resentment and bitterness, and if continued, sickness and disease.
The apostle Paul told the Philippians, “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things. (Philippians 4:8).”
Good thoughts, perfect thoughts, harmonious thoughts, will bring about a like environment. Good thoughts produce positive words. Even though it may not look so at first, continue to dwell and project this good. Eventually, and perhaps quicker than you think, the change you desire to have in your life will gradually take.
Someone is waiting on you
The world needs you, and I don’t necessarily mean the world at large. I am talking about the world that you influence. Someone’s life can be changed by you. You could be a teacher who impacts the life of a student you teach. That student could go on to do great exploits because of a sentence, a lesson or something as insignificant as the way you conducted yourself. You could be the service representative in a retail business that makes your customer feel so special that they go and forget how bad things are in their world. It does not matter who you are or where you are at this point in time, someone is waiting on you.
You do not know whose spirit you uplift just because you smiled at someone you passed in the street, on the subway or in the mall. You may not know it but when you said “good morning” the recipient had gone through a devastating ordeal, where sleep evaded them all night. Those two little words you spoke made them realize that things are really not so bad, especially in the light of day. Not only that, but someone’s heart will flutter when you come into their space and someone’s environment will become more bearable when you step into your purpose.
When you find your purpose in life then you become an instrument of change in your own life, your home, neighborhood, community, and eventually the world at large. Your presence and the energy you exude are contagious. Do not let your unrealistic fears stop you from being the influencer that you are supposed to be in this world. There are people in your sphere who are waiting on you to take action. The power of your will and the courage to do something is all you need to take the first step. So, no more hesitation, Kick Fear Now, and step into the life you have always dreamt of living.
Action Steps to a Courageous Life
The first step to living a fearless life is to know everything there is about your enemy.
“So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself,
you will fight without danger in battles.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent,
you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy,
you will always endanger yourself.”
Sun Tzu, The Art of War
The second step to living a fearless life is to know everything about you.
“Nothing can work me damage except myself;
the harm that I sustain I carry about with me,
and never am a real sufferer but by my own fault.”
St. Bernard
The third step to living a fearless life is to know your purpose.
“We have all we need to become what we are, our perfect selves. All we need to do to realize it is to recognize it, develop it and live it in action… We are no longer puppets being manipulated by outside powerful forces; we become the powerful force ourselves.”
Louis Bascaglia, Personhood: The Art of Being Fully Human
The fourth step to living a fearless life is to have clearly defined, written-down goals.
“We need to be clear with our preferences, wants and desires, and not get seduced by the distortions exaggerated fear produces. We need to learn to postpone an impulsive reaction for another time, and to move ahead if the desire to procrastinate occurs.”
Ivan Kos, PhD, To Dare: It is Easier to Succeed than to Fail
The fifth step to living a fearless life is to love yourself and love your life.
“When all is said and done, it all boils down to love.
Love is a funny emotion. It’s one of the strongest of our emotions and yet so often we find ourselves searching everywhere for it. Unlike fear, love doesn’t show up as soon as something looks different. In fact, unless we learn how to love — which means to give love and appreciation, unselfishly, without expecting anything in return — we will never experience the kind of love and appreciation we so greatly crave.”
Pangeline J. Edwards, Kick Fear to the Curb.
The Key to Your Discovery
One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth.
Growth must be chosen again and again;
fear must be overcome again and again.
Dr. Abraham Maslow
By now you should have clarified your purpose. The answers to your questions should have highlighted similarities, patterns and themes that help you to identify your purpose. You should at least be able to clarify your purpose and even put together a clearly defined purpose. Remember, your purpose gives “maximum meaning” to whatever you do.
What is it that you desire? Are the dreams that flood your sleep a vision of the life you want to live, the person you want to be or the career or business you want to excel in? What is it that you really want to accomplish and are determined to succeed in? What is it that you daydream about? What motion picture of your life is your mind showing you and wanting you to make into reality?
Whatever it is that motivates you to get out of bed each morning? That is what you must hold fast to in your imagination. It will keep you moving forward. Focus on it. Use it as a tool for motivation and inspiration. It is your ultimate dream, desire, and goal, and it will propel you into taking right action. You must believe that you will succeed regardless of whatever obstacles and stumbling blocks come across your path.
If you are adventurous enough then let me hear what some of your purposes and passions are. Tell me what are some of the challenges you have faced in defining or living your purpose? It took me many years before I truly understood what my purpose was and how important it was to be a person of purpose. The key to my discovery was knowing as much as I could about myself and knowing even more about my fears. If you want to discover your purpose that is the key – knowing as much as you can about yourself and knowing even more about your fears.
Don’t Give Up — Pick Up Your Plan
February was an extremely traumatic month for me. Within the space of three weeks I found abnormalities on both my right and left breasts, confirmed with a sonogram, had aspiration of two cysts and biopsy of the third. To make things a little more interesting I found out that I have ankle tendonitis and must take a break from strenuous exercise.
Many times we make a decision to do something different. We want a change in our lives. Perhaps we are tired of living with mediocrity. We know that there must be more to life than just trying to survive or making it through the week till Friday comes around. More often than not the desire for doing more is our purpose calling us. It is a reminder that we still have quite a way to go and we need to do something about it. That’s why we make goals, resolutions, to-do lists, bucket lists, and set challenges for ourselves.
We start preparing, get all excited, make plans and then suddenly something comes to throw us off track. If we are not careful we lose our balance, stumble and fall. If the thing that comes our way is frightening or devastating enough we might even convince ourselves that it is not worth the effort. Right there, right then, we give up, but this is not the time to throw in the towel. Now is the time for you to become even more determined to make your plan work.
Unrealistic fear wants you to give up even before you have even started, but you are not going to give it any satisfaction whatsoever. What you have to do is draw upon all your past accomplishments and successes thus far and do some positive self-talk. Trust me, during the whole ordeal in February unrealistic fear’s negative self-talk was determined to throw me off balance. Words such as cancer, disability, hopeless, give it up, and even death constantly rose up, but each time I counterattacked with what I knew best.
Affirmations are positive self-talk. They are tools that you have at your disposal. If unrealistic fear uses negative self-talk to impede you then you must use positive self-talk to move yourself forward. Positive affirmations can filter back to your subconscious to have an effect on your motivation and self-esteem. You can’t wait around for someone to pat you on the back and tell you that everything’s going to be all right. Many times it will be just you and that scary situation facing each other. Whose voice do you want to hear?
You can use affirmations to move your subconscious mind through the power of positivity. Instead of thinking I am afraid tell yourself daily I have the courage to do this. When negative self-talk starts a conversation on what took place the last time, let positive self-talk remind you that was then and this is now. So go ahead, put that plan together. You have made the right decision. Take some time to remind yourself of who you are and what you are capable of doing. Then keep on stepping, right into your purpose.
Fear and Doubt
The first thing that stops you from living your purpose is fear. The second thing is doubt. Usually, when one is present the other is quick to show up.
Fear and doubt work hard to block you from stepping into your purpose but they cannot stop you. It’s not easy to be a person of purpose, especially if you have allowed fear and doubt to be the driving force in your life. Brian Tracy, author of Goals, says that the two major obstacles to success and achievement are fear and doubt. He points out that the average number of times that people try to accomplish their goals is “less than one.” To me that’s scary.
People rarely pursue their goals because they can’t get past the fear factor. Most give up before they even start. Tracy draws a picture to elaborate for us. He says that, “As soon as they think of the goal, these fears (failure, poverty, loss, embarrassment, or rejection) overwhelm them and, like a bucket of water on a small fire, extinguish their desire completely.” One of the easiest ways to be unsuccessful is to not do anything. That is not you. You are a person on purpose and therefore a person of action.
This is why you have to “Kick Fear Now”. For too long it has been hindering your growth, stopping your movement, and kept you locked up in a position of stagnation. Self discovery is action. It is coming to the knowledge about who you are and realizing that you are more than your fears and doubts. These things are merely challenges and exercises to build up self. The more you are challenged and overcome the challenges through your accomplishments, the greater your capacity to accomplish bigger challenges.
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Brian Tracy,Goals!: How to Get Everything You Want — Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible @ http://www.amazon.com/Goals-Everything-Faster-Thought-Possible/dp/1605094110/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1330820267&sr=1-1
The Journey of Self-Discovery
Life is a journey of self-discovery, not self-improvement.
Why self-discovery? Well, as you were being formed in your mother’s womb everything was in place for your future growth and development. Nothing was left out. Nothing was amiss. You were so put together that when you came out of the safe and serene world within the watery womb, into a bright, loud, and strange world you were greeted with oohs and aahs. You were so unique and special that everyone who saw you was in awe. There was nothing that needed to be improved upon. In fact, you were so fearfully and wonderfully made that you were perfect. What was needed now was for you to discover why you came into this world and what part you played in making it a better place to live.
The road that you were about to embark upon, even if at first you had to crawl along it, was to be one of discovering about yourself. It would by no means be an easy task. Nevertheless, through discovery and then action, the person you were born to be would eventually actualize — with the world being a much better place because you were in it. That is your purpose.
Every person who lives on this planet has a purpose for his or her life. There are a multitude of people walking aimlessly with no idea of what that purpose is. There are others who experience great loss, illness, struggles or setbacks but come out with a clear sense of purpose. Then there are a few who from an early stage know exactly why they are here and don’t waste any time setting about making their mark. The ability to articulate who you are, what you’re doing, where you’re going, and how you’re going to get there, is a sure indicator of a person who is on a mission to true fulfillment in life.
That is your purpose, to first discover, and then to become, all that you were meant to be. I believe that knowing and living your purpose is one of the greatest steps towards living a fearless life. Some of you may have lost sight of your purpose but rest assured it has not disappeared. It is merely waiting for you to discover it once again. My purpose is to help you along the journey of self-discovery, a journey that I myself have taken. So if you’re ready to find your purpose – then let’s go.
Real or Exaggerated — You Decide
Fear is real. It’s that feeling you have when something just doesn’t sit well with you. It’s what raises your internal antennae to stop everything and pay attention. At first, the intentions of fear are good. When it senses that you’re about to come into contact with what it perceives as dangerous or threatening, it moves into action. Simply defined, fear is “an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.”
What scientists call “primitive fear” is a necessary process in the lives of human beings. It’s intended to help us survive the dangerous situations we’re faced with. It’s also an instinct that every animal possesses, allowing them to quickly respond to any threat from an oncoming predator and use the built-in defense mechanisms to protect themselves. But what happens when there is no danger in the situation we are facing? What happens when we are faced with a situation that may look or even feel threatening, but in actuality it’s just a change we are about to make in our lives? Then we have stepped in the path of unrealistic or “exaggerated fear.”
Dr. Ivan Kos, To Dare: It is Easier to Succeed than to Fail, says that fear comes in four kinds: physiological fear, real fear, exaggerated fear and imaginary fear. He says that physiological fear is a reflexive reaction to a threat. It is a positive fear that requires no thinking, just an automatic response to the suddenly perceived threat. Therefore it works to benefit us. Real fear is also beneficial to us. It allows us to use rational thought to think before we take action. Unfortunately, this is not the case with exaggerated fear.
Exaggerated fear tends to work against us. Dr. Kos says that “exaggerated fear amplifies the dangerousness of an event, creating conflict, discomfort and distrust, and constructing a distorted judgment and an overreaction” to a given situation. Exaggerated fear does not like change and even worse, is averse to risk-taking. When you step out of your comfort zone exaggerated fear gets into action.
Many of us made great resolutions at the beginning of 2012 but only six weeks have passed and we have already discarded those good intentions. If you have made the decision that this is the year you do something different then know that exaggerated fear is going to get in your way. Yet, there is still hope.
One of the easiest ways to be unsuccessful is to not do anything.
If taking control of your life, and your destiny, is what you want to accomplish then I urge you to persevere. The next time you’re confronted with an emotional encounter allow the rational fear system to do its job. Stand your ground, prepare for action and ask yourself is this real or exaggerated fear. Make the decision to gather all the facts every time something new triggers a fear reaction. The process to freedom from fear may seem difficult but everything of great value is worth fighting for.
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To pick up a copy of To Dare: It is Easier to Succeed than to Fail by Ivan Kos, Ph.D. go to http://www.amazon.com/Dare-Easier-Succeed-than-Fail/dp/145653596X
Healthy or Unrealistic — What is Your Fear?
Have you ever tried doing something new, such as starting a new job, going to a new school, learning how to drive, or meeting someone for the first time? At first you’re nervous and apprehensive. You don’t know what to expect. You’re afraid that no one will like you or, even worse that you’ll mess up big time by saying or doing the wrong thing. But guess what? All this is normal. This is initial fear. For a second or two, your brain gets to work to begin the complex process of assessment and reaction. It’s here that you take a deep breath, calm yourself and think. “Yes, this is definitely something new, but you know what, I’m up to the challenge.” Now you’re ready to take the first step.
As you become more familiar with the new situation, person or thing, all fears are quelled. Gradually you become more comfortable. But, what if you can’t rationalize because a bad experience from the past immediately comes to mind? The last time you faced a similar situation, the outcome was not pleasant. You told yourself, “Never again. That was too painful.” The assessment in this instance isn’t good. Your reaction is to stop and run in the other direction. Well, you have now stepped from the state of initial fear to unrealistic fear.
Healthy fear is supposed to be your friend. In other words, it’s necessary for your survival, safety, and protection. Fear is supposed to sound the alarm when you approach oncoming danger, and in many cases this is what it does. The body will continue in a state of alert until your brain is convinced that the danger has passed. In turn, you can exercise sensible caution and make sound decisions for the sake of your safety.
What we see and what we hear play a huge role in how we respond to a particular situation. Fear can’t differentiate between reality and perception. It relies on you to tell them apart. Your reaction and response to any given situation triggers your emotions. As far as fear is concerned change is dangerous, risk is dangerous, even being in unfamiliar surroundings is dangerous. When something looks, feels, and sounds dangerous, fear prepares for the worse.
Fear prohibits great dreams from becoming extraordinary realities. It makes small steps look like giant hurdles. It stops people, like you and I, from accomplishing our goals and realizing our dreams. If 2012 is the year that “things are going to change” then you have to Kick Fear Now. Once and for all, it is time to kick fear to the curb. Put it in its place — a place of support, not control. You may not feel very courageous right now, but you are ready to take control over your life. It’s not easy, but it can happen. Despite the stumbling blocks and bumps that will try to hinder you, success can – and will – be yours. The key is to take action and the time to start doing that is now.
Don’t Stop Now – Find Your Dream
This morning I woke up with this song ringing in my ears. Most of you may remember the lyrics from the Sound of Music.
Climb every mountain,
Ford every stream
Follow every rainbow
Till you find your dream.
I had not heard this song from since my childhood years back in England. So, why now, why on this 2nd day of January 2012, after a rough night of sleep and not in any mood for getting out of the bed? Perhaps I needed a gentle reminder and perhaps it is what I should share this morning. Don’t give up on your desires, goals, aspirations and most importantly your dreams. Keep going, despite setbacks and failures, stumbling blocks and trip ups. The key is to stay focused and keep on moving.
Life is not one big challenge; it is actually lots of little challenges rolled into one. How you handle the challenge determines the outcome. How you handle the outcome determines how you tackle the next challenge when it comes your way. Each challenge is merely a preparation for the next one. You become stronger or weaker based on what you label that outcome. Win or loss. Good or bad. Success or failure. The choice is always yours.
This year 2012 I dare you to face your challenges from a different perspective. Look at them with excitement and interest. Let your challenges show you what you can handle. Let them tell you how far you have come and how much further you have to go. To make it even more fun, why not set yourself a big challenge and see what the outcome will be. You may be in for a big surprise.
You may think you are ordinary, everyday people but you are not. You are someone’s champion and someone’s hero. You are champions and heroes who quietly leave your mark on the lives of the people that you come into contact with on a daily basis. Your names may not be known to the masses, your faces may not be in the news, but you are someone special. So keep on climbing, fording, and following until you find your dream.
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Kick Fear Now 